Understanding a Hoarder
Hoarded house AFTER 12 hours of clutter removal…Hoarded homes take a lot of time to sanitize and de-clutter.
People are often shocked to hear that as a Professional Organizer I tackle hoarded houses. When they learn that I am confronted with animal waste, (sometimes even human waste) bugs, spiders, cockroaches, {basically anything you could imagine}, etc., people tell me “eww that’s nasty”, or “oh gross, I could never do that”… So I thought I would try to help people understand why I choose to work with hoarders.
People have asked me if I “feel sorry for those people”, as if they could never end up in the same predicament. My answer is no, I don’t “feel sorry” for them, because their own life choices are usually the cause, and feeling sorry for someone is not an adequate solution. I can sympathize with someone and how their life evolved into what it is without pitying them. Instead, I feel motivated to help them make positive changes. Hoarding is never about the stuff – it goes so much deeper. I can’t say for sure that all hoarders have a mental illness, but there are definitely hoarders with true mental illnesses. Mental Illness aside, all hoarders need someone to hold them accountable; enabling them isn’t going to fix a compulsion. This doesn’t mean I am uncaring; I am very sympathetic to the embarrassment felt by what their life has become, but my responsibility is to make sure that I don’t allow them to continue living that way.
Understanding a hoarder is not just about understanding the underlying emotional issues that plague a person afflicted with this “disease”. Here’s an easy way to relate: You know how another person’s mess usually seems more disgusting than your own? That’s exactly it; a hoarder isn’t a “nasty, dirty person”, they are people who have become blind to their own degree of mess and clutter. My job is to help them see again. Basically, when they live in the mess, they get used to it…and since it’s a slow, gradual process the reality of the situation is blurred to the person living there.
Additionally, hoarding can be really hazardous to your health and well-being. If you have boxes piled up, papers covering the floor, and “stuff” in the way of your every day living, you can’t possibly clean all of those crevices very well. The food starts to spoil, crumbs attract vermin, and before you know it you have reached the point where cockroaches climb over your legs and you barely notice. The “I’ll do it later” attitude of procrastination is predominant in most hoarders lives and when things are constantly pushed aside, problems get out of hand. Another example is deferred home maintenance. Whether due to budget restrictions or procrastination, a house with a broken toilet can soon turn into a person who cannot properly dispose of their own waste. This is not something that can be handled by just anyone. Hoarders who have animal or human waste accumulation need special crews certified to handle biological clean-up {the local Mrs.Maid service will laugh at you…and hang up}, such as a crime-scene clean up company (seriously).
So what’s the solution to long term success? Unfortunately, there isn’t one fail-proof formula to follow (sorry, fellow type-A individuals) because every situation is unique. Labels and pretty boxes are not the first items on the list for a hoarding job and the space always looks worse before it looks better. The first step is a non-judgmental solution that prioritizes health and sanitation. Unfortunately, if a hoarder is non-compliant and in danger, sometimes Adult Protective Services and / or Child Protective Services have to be contacted. As Professional Organizers we have to take responsibility for those who cannot help themselves.
A multifaceted approach usually works best, combining the expertise of psychologists (when needed), professional organizers, pest control, junk removal, and heavy-duty cleaning. As a Professional Organizer I coordinate all the services mentioned above, making sure the process is efficient. Hoarding can be a fire hazard if exits are blocked, and then the accumulation of debris makes a haven for pests. Coaching the hoarder is another part of the process that can range from relatively easy to down right frustrating. Remaining calm and firm usually lead to the most success, however long it takes.
Below you can see two photos of a hoarded home I am working on currently. The home needs much more than just an organizer’s assistance. Trash removal and cleaning services were brought in to help with sanitation and clutter removal. Animal and human waste had to be properly disposed of; in the 2nd photo you can see what the home looked like after the carpet was removed. In 12 hours four workers were able to remove two large truckloads of junk and trash from a kitchen, living room, and bathroom and partially sanitize the kitchen and bathroom. However, there is still a lot to do before this home can be considered functional.
A hoarded home in the process of sanitation. Clutter, animal waste, and carpet are removed…then the entire area is thoroughly cleaned.
Living room after two truckloads of junk were removed along with heavily soiled carpeting.
In difficult situations, like those pictured above, I try to remember that most hoarders have probably had to endure many trying situations in life, which usually contributes to their apathy and / or compulsion to acquire and keep things. This is why I never judge people in a hoarding situation; you never know what fires God has asked them to walk through. I take these jobs because I know that God has blessed me with a talent to look beyond the chaos and see solutions for any type of space. If I can use that God-given ability to bless others, then I am doing my job in this world. I want to help these people get their life back and realize the dream of “everything in its place”. It probably won’t ever resemble a model home, but it will be the best home I can help them create.
As Seen On: Lamberts Lately, Thrifty Thursday,Homesteading Hippy, Fridays Unfolded
Very interesting read, Amanda. I think it’s great that you are willing to use your skills to help others, even in the most extreme cases. Thanks for shedding some light on an often misunderstood subject.
Thanks Sarah. It’s a challenge, for sure, but usually the most rewarding.
Wow I like nothing more than getting stuck in to an unorganised space and sorting it out but dealing with everything else you have to, I don’t know if i could handle that.
Thanks for sharing.
It does get a bit hectic, but as long as you keep the goal in sight and keep reminding the client, the rewards are worth the effort.
I guess I never thought hoarders would even call a professional organizer. Interesting.
Many do, however, they don’t always realize how hard the process will be for them.
Very interesting, indeed. We sometimes watch Hoarders and are amazed at what people can learn to live with. I always tell my kids that hoarder is more about what’s going on inside a person than what’s going on around them. Thanks for sharing at Fridays Unfolded!
Alison
Nancherrow
Definitely. I hope people will gain more of an understanding of this situation rather than just feeling judgmental.
Thanks for sharing this! I’ve struggled with clutter and disorganization most of my life, only recently becoming free of it (it was a loooong process, though!). Watching Hoarders shows always motivated me, but at the same time I really empathized and could identify with them. I felt like I was just one tragedy away from becoming one myself. Understanding the way hoarders think can help us be compassionate yet not enabling. I chose this as my favorite for our From the Farm Blog Hop and it will be featured on Friday!
Thanks Dawn for featuring my article! I am glad to hear that you have made progress in your life. Take care!
How do you get someone motivated to call a professional organizer? I have an Aunt who’s full blown and I see my MIL going down that path since the loss of her mother in Oct 2013. I care deeply for these folks and am just at a loss as to a way to help them. I’m a working mom and sadly just don’t have the time to devote to both these women to help.
It depends on the person, but the person has to be ready to make a change. Unfortunately, there isn’t a magic phrase that will cause them to take action. Sympathy and a non-judgmental approach usually work best; however, the person does need to be made aware that the process isn’t easy and it will take a lot of hard work to keep things from returning to the original state. I would also advise you to contact a professional organizer in your area on their behalf. Sometimes all it takes is someone from the outside (a non-family member) offering a different point of view to cause them to want to make a change.
Hello Amanda, I AM a Hoarder. When I was a child, we moved many times, & my mother divorced my dad when I was 9. I know that I had to part with things, rock collection, pets, friends, clothing, things that meant something to me. All my life I have had to start over, move 8 times over the last 30 years! Two years ago we moved and Now I am in a small home 500 square feet upstairs and 500 in the basement. I know I need to get rid of stuff. Sometimes when I begin, I get a good start but then feel overwhelmed. My dear husband would love to help me but it is so hard to part with things of value. I live in a small town in Northeastern Indiana and have been going to a group meeting about 3 months every week, learning coping skills, but I feel I need to really start clearing out. Thank you for your compassion and article to help people get organized. I think I will look for an organizer who is in my area to help us. We are both retired and love to do things, but don’t entertain because of the clutter. If you have any comments you would like to share I am looking forward to them. You have given me hope! I am 67 years old. Sincerely, Cheryl
Thank you for commenting and I’m glad that my article did help you. One of the reasons that I started as a professional organizer was to help people who struggle with the same things you do. The number one thing I can tell you is that this is a process, not a one time event, and not to disappoint yourself with unrealistic goals and expectations. You can conquer this, but like anything it takes discipline and persistence. Take care and may God bless your efforts every step of the way!
Hi amanda! My boyfriend is a hoarder we live in filth and cluster and I have severe anxiety, I love this man with all my heart and my mental health is suffering because of this, any helpful advice to go about a change without therapy as he’s NEVER agree
Desiree, without meeting you and seeing exactly what you’re dealing with it is difficult to give suggestions. However, I’m not really sure why he wouldn’t want to seek help. Hiring a professional organizer in your area would be the best thing because they would be able to teach your boyfriend how to maintain a clutter-free environment without it feeling like “therapy”. Each person has their own unique issues and reasons behind hoarding, so I am sorry I can’t offer anything more specific. NAPO is a great place to search for a qualified professional organizer, as well as, findmyorganizer.com. Best of luck to you and your boyfriend.
Notice how there is a walker in the room? This old lady simply might not have the physical strength to overcome her situation. Please refrain from quickly slapping a “mental illness” label on every pathological human behavior. Poor health impairs a person far more then you realize … until you find yourself on the receiving end of a devastating diagnosis.
Poverty equals low resources. And we take our education and access to information for granted.
Judging from ypur tone, I see that you see yourself as compassionate. However I see that you lack genuine empathy.
Anne, I never said this particular person had a mental illness – I would never discuss a specific person online. With that said, I am sorry you feel I lack compassion, but it’s apparent you didn’t read the article thoroughly. As far as being on the receiving end of a debilitating illness – I have been there. I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s 12 years ago, which is an autoimmune disease that attacks every cell in my body and leaves me unable to function some days, but thank you for assuming I am in great health! 🙂 That is a testament to my will to battle this illness. I work hard to make sure I am as healthy as possible for my future and my family. I’ve also been on the receiving end of devastating circumstances as our home was destroyed after Harvey. We had to rebuild it ourselves due to lack of available funds. Again, thank you for trying to point out that I am in some way living in a bed of roses or that I am “victim blaming”. As a “victim” of life’s unforeseeable circumstances I choose to have faith that God will see me through the rough times and provide me with the knowledge to persevere rather than wallowing in my own self-pity. THAT is the message I brought to my clients: do not be a victim of what life hands you! Fight your way out of the circumstances you do not like and never give up. Thanks for visiting and take care.